Wednesday, April 4, 2007

I Have a Gimp Leg. A Freak Accident Involving A Pair of Nylons, a Rapid Wombat, Crampons, and the Dalai Lama. I Cherish It So. The D Lama Is So Shiny.


In celebration of the coming Spring (although the weather today feels like someone sucked out my insides from my anus and my ear canal simultaneously), I will do a little dance and make a little love and bring our attention to a friendly court case involving a love for the dance.

(Some other points of reference are Heather Mill's prosthetic dancing in the hit series Dancing with the Stars Season...2 or 3 or 4. You can also refer to such hit tv shows as Pussycat Dolls present The Search for the Next Doll or So You Think You Can Dance or Grease! You're the One That I Want.)

These shows are not to be miscontrued with quality. They are in fact grouped together as "The shows that I see every once in a while and have to keep myself from leaping across the room and pissing on the faces in the television set. I did that once with a watergun when I was a child. So, now as an adult, I have changed to a more mature form of drenching my foes. Unfortunately, like when I was child, it always results in some broken electronics and embarassment when someone walks into the room. Oh yeah, they also all have ridiculously long names. I will start a show. It will be called "The Search of the Next Asian/ Pacific Islander In Search of a Soul Whilst Torching Retail Queens that Work at Armani Exchange and French Connection...Who Are Asian." I smell a runaway hit.)

But to get back to the point, if you haven't figured out my formula by now, there was a recent newsitem that I thought particularly interesting. Not because of topic, but because of the story it made me remember. Now, I don't think I want to share with you the story to which I am referring so that I can write about it tomorrow so I will make a little idle commentary after the article and then leave you hanging until next week. Like an episode of LOST. Where nothing ever happens but it always could. Or like watching Jesus on the cross, wondering if he would bleed out and lose bowel control or not. Now I bet you wish you were there.

Woman Sues Co-Worker For 'Negligent Dancing'
Lacey Hindman Says She Fell And Was Seriously Hurt Because Of Co-Worker's Dance Technique
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(STNG) CHICAGO Oldies music was playing at the Lincoln Park bar and a circle of co-workers danced.

But Lacey Hindman said she had no idea David Prange was about to grab her by the forearms and flip her into the air, jitterbug-style.

The small-framed 22-year-old said she was surprised as the stocky-built Prange tossed her airborne and she crashed headfirst into the wood floor at Stanley’s Kitchen and Tap.

Hindman suffered a fractured skull and brain injuries in the April 2006 incident and is now suing Prange — whose wife, Kate, is a well-known fashion designer who owns the Shop Girl store where Hindman worked.

Hindman, of Chicago, wants unspecified damages for injuries her attorney says were caused by “negligent dancing.”

“We want him to be accountable for what he did,” said attorney David M. Baum.

The Pranges did not return calls Monday.

Hindman said she knew the Pranges well -- they’re family friends who hired her to baby-sit and, later, to work at their Lincoln Park shop.

The dancing incident came after a book-signing at the store, and all employees were required to attend the after-party, Hindman said.

They were dancing in a group when David Prange reached over and grabbed Hindman’s arms, she said.

“I was in the air, over him,” she said. “I fell hard enough, you could hear the impact of me hitting the floor over the sound from the jukebox.”

A store manager took her home and watched over her that night, but when she woke up “in excruciating pain” and with a “lump the size of a baseball” on the back of her head, she went to the hospital.

Her lawsuit, recently filed in Cook County Circuit Court, seeks damages for medical bills, lost wages for time she missed from work and future losses due to her injuries.


Now for the commentary. I have none. It's just a funny story. Some dude flipped a girl over and dropped her on the her head.

Think about it...

Yeah...

Yeah...

You're stifling a laugh now, right?


Oh and don't you love the fact that the girls all have glowing blue eyes in the photo above? It's like the precursor to seeing 9 Linda Blairs in halter tops puking on a marching band and fucking themselves with the cross.

Perfectly in time to the music and to each other.

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