Oh, The Devil You Know, That One Inside You, Is Poking Out a Bit.

Thusly, (not a word), I will begin today by issuing an apology for several things.

First, I would like to apologize to the lack of posts for any of you who might actually get some perverse thrill from reading this. I have been rather busy the past few days.

If you look in my bathroom, you would understand.

Secondly, I apologize to a specfic person who's anonymity I have leaked on the internet. Unfortunately, his remarks were of the ignorant kind, so it casts he/she in a bad light (or just sightly dimmed.) However, we also must understand that it is a joke. We do not endorse the use of Injuns. Except in the development of casinos on the wastelands of the USA. So, in jest, I apologize, Dennis. Did I do it on purpose? You be the judge.

Last, and foremostly, not to be confused with the term "Last but not least," I apologize for "hurling on your rosebushes." What does that mean? I'm taking guesses.

What I did this weekend: paint the bathroom. That's right, you dirty pervs. Just a wholesome paint job. Nothing else that your filthy minds might have conjured up. Just a wholesome paint job. Naked. With some monkeys. Well, people in monkey suits. (Let's not anger PETA.)

And a case of Wine coolers. Mmm. Strawberry blast. (Which doesn' mean I drank them.) (Which means I did something else with them.)

Just a wholesome paint job.

And finally, you know, cause that comes after "Last." I give you a piece of mail I received the other day.

Hi, I hate to be the one to mention this, but people continue to talk about your weight issue and it just disgusts me. Whether you know it by now, people are always chattering about each other at work but you come up more than enough. I wasn't the happiest or best-fit up until a year ago or so but that did change. Thanks to my dam brother-in-law(of all people). Anyhow, it was for the best.

What I am saying is that you need to do something different and maybe you can make the same difference I did. Try this stuff I used. I took it on the idea it's just more junk but it worked great. I see more positive reviews on it nowadays and makes me feel even better. So, I am encouraging a change, not only in the chatter around here but in you personally.

-Anonymous for now
Using an anonymous email website to send this btw;) When it helps/works just send a memo out with the name "Angel" in it. Then you can take me out to lunch to thank you. Talk to you sooner than later I hope;)

BITCH, PLEASE! YOU WANNA GO?!