Let's just set something straight before I move forward on what I am about to say. I am Asian. Moving forward now. (By the way, the name of that picture is main_asian_baby.jpg which I enjoy.)
Back in 2002, I was living in North Adams, Massachusetts, which is basically the back water Berkshires all the way up in Western Mass. Just over the summer. When it rains. And is humid all the time. And I would walk to my internship at the contemporary art museum and rig a few things or hang lights...oh the good old days when I didn't have to sit in front of a computer all day long.
Anyway, on a lunch break, avoiding the Brewhaha (a sandwich/coffee shop. It was pretty good. I just hated the name. Who says that? Brouhaha. The offspring of incest, that's who. Which by the way, I heard a rumor that North Adams was the incest capital of the US. Let's think about this. 1. I find that hard to believe since it's in MA. 2. I probably heard it from a disgruntled intern at the museum...trust me. It's a small quiet town.)
Now this is where it all goes down. My friends and I were sitting in some random Chinese buffet because, well, we thought it was an okay idea at the time. or cheap. That's right. It was cheap.
All of a sudden out of nowhere like a bat out of hell, the door opens, the light breaks in in shafts, and a herd of little Asian children come charging in like a herd of... what was that movie with the strange furballs that eat people? Critters? It was kind of like that.
Here is the kicker. Behind all this little Asian children, (Yes, Asian, although most of them were little girls so I'm guessing they were from Mainland China. You know how that goes down.) Yes, behind all these Asian children come all of these White folk, that I can probably only assume to be the adoptive parents of these little Asian cannibals (We eats the dogs, it ain't much of a stretch. And if you have ever been to a mildly shady restaurant, I would say you have had your share of Old Yeller too.)
How twisted is that? As if once a week they would get together here at lunch time so that their Chinese Munchkins could get in touch with their cultural heritage? With a a crab rangoon?
On a similar note, can I just say that a crab rangoon is a deep fried wonton of sorts with crab and cream cheese. ( I found this out recently.) Asians don't really eat cheese. Americans eat cheese. Some Asians like cheese though, but the crab rangoon is a purely American thing. You can add fortune cookies to that mix.
Anyway, story time is over. Remember, if you have an adopted child, don't find stupid ways for them to get in touch with their culture. Babies have no culture except the one they were brought up in. And if you want to take them to their manufacturing country, please,, by all means, do so.
What was is that Angelina Jolie said once? Something along the lines of "I want to adopt a child from several different countries so they can grow up together and share their cultures with one another."
ARGH. If you have any doubts that Zahara and Maddox will smother Shiloh in her sleep then you're an optimistic wunderkind.
For more info on taking the child that doesn't look like you on vacation, click here
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